Alfred P. Mattera legacy
discourse with sisters in Ocean City
Alfred P. Mattera legacy
discourse with sisters in Ocean City
Mattera Family Disinheritance Family Blog
Our Journey
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Meet the Family
MATTERA, Alfred P., MD On August 3, 2010, age 85, of Haddon Heights. Beloved husband of 57 years to Joanna (nee Gabriele). Devoted father of Chris Mattera, Lisa Crawford, Tricia Gardner, and Paul Mattera, youngest. Also at the time of dealth, survived by 13 grandchildren. Alfred served in WWII in the Army Air Corps. He graduated in 1949 from Temple University Pharmacy School. He was a member of Kappa Psi fraternity. A 1963 graduate of Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine, interned in Cherry Hill Hospital, and was Board Certified in Family Practice. Dr. Mattera served on the Medical Executive Board of Kennedy Memorial Hospital and the Intern Selection Committee. In 1980, Dr. Mattera was the president of the medical staff of Kennedy Memorial Hospital. And retired after 40 years of family practice in Stratford.
Mattera Values
Alfred Mattera Family Beach House in Ocean City, New Jersey, was a place for family gathering and the importance of creating lasting memories. We strive to live our lives with authenticity, kindness, and gratitude.
A Tribute to My Father, Alfred P. Mattera, in Heaven Honoring His Legacy, Values, and Memory
At Mattera Family Disinheritance, we share our family's unique journey through life's ups and downs. Join us as we explore moments that matter and create lasting memories together.
In remembrance of faithful families, Benedettos
I have been in communication with Ray Benedetto, son of Uncle Nick, Aunt Mary and Carolina Benedetto the most faithful people I have known in Havertown, Pennsylvania.
In reference to my father, Alfred P. Mattera
The inheritance dispute in our family is not just about money or property—it’s really a broader question of what is right or wrong, and how my father would have wanted things handled. Unfortunately, the estate attorney did not give my father sound advice, which only complicated matters. What makes this even harder is the resistance and stubbornness from some of my sisters, who I believe have not yet opened their hearts to God, faith, or to the way my father practiced his life and would have wanted his inheritance distributed.
Family estrangement is never a good thing. I’m certain my parents never intended for disputes over an estate to lead to broken relationships. Sadly, this is a common problem when an estate involves real estate and investments, because unlike cash—which is easy to divide—property often creates tension and conflict.
For example, in our own family, some children received early distributions from the estate, which meant that later adjustments had to be made to keep things equitable. These kinds of adjustments are complicated, but they are meant to preserve fairness.
I also recognize that I have not had contact with much of the family for many years, and they may not want me involved. But my perspective is this: forgiveness, humility, and grace are needed. Even if no one ever feels the division was perfectly equal, any act of kindness or consideration can go a long way toward healing wounds.
What is most important is not property, but relationships. Among you all, there are many children—cousins—whose bonds should be preserved and strengthened, not weakened by resentment.
Sadly, much of the decision-making has been steered by in-laws, and the Mattera family itself has become divided, especially over the Ocean City beachfront property. This has been painful to witness. In time, I hope to write more about this privately—perhaps even a book—after the new year. My intent is not to reopen wounds, but to share experiences that may help others avoid the same mistakes.
I have always believed it is better not to shy away from family disputes, but rather to step in with the hope of guiding them toward an amicable resolution.
Finally, I want to connect this to something deeper. In apologetics—the practice of defending and explaining faith—we use reason, history, and even science to show why belief matters. But apologetics is not about forcing others to believe; it is about providing reasons for hope, offering clarity, and building bridges. That’s exactly what I think is needed here: not more division, but thoughtful, faith-guided reconciliation which my sisters refuse to do.
Just my two cents, as someone who knows you, knows the family, and remembers what was most important to our parents.
In reference to my father, Alfred P. Mattera
The inheritance dispute in our family is not just about money or property—it’s really a broader question of what is right or wrong, and how my father would have wanted things handled. Unfortunately, the estate attorney did not give my father sound advice, which only complicated matters. What makes this even harder is the resistance and stubbornness from some of my sisters, who I believe have not yet opened their hearts to God, faith, or to the way my father practiced his life and would have wanted his inheritance distributed.
Family estrangement is never a good thing. I’m certain my parents never intended for disputes over an estate to lead to broken relationships. Sadly, this is a common problem when an estate involves real estate and investments, because unlike cash—which is easy to divide—property often creates tension and conflict.
For example, in our own family, some children received early distributions from the estate, which meant that later adjustments had to be made to keep things equitable. These kinds of adjustments are complicated, but they are meant to preserve fairness.
I also recognize that I have not had contact with much of the family for many years, and they may not want me involved. But my perspective is this: forgiveness, humility, and grace are needed. Even if no one ever feels the division was perfectly equal, any act of kindness or consideration can go a long way toward healing wounds.
What is most important is not the property, but the relationships. Among you all, there are many children—cousins—whose bonds should be preserved and strengthened, not weakened by resentment.
Sadly, much of the decision-making has been steered by in-laws, and the Mattera family itself has become divided, especially over the Ocean City beachfront property. This has been painful to witness. In time, I hope to write more about this privately—perhaps even a book—after the new year. My intent is not to reopen wounds, but to share experiences that may help others avoid the same mistakes.
I have always believed it is better not to shy away from family disputes, but rather to step in with the hope of guiding them toward an amicable resolution.
Finally, I want to connect this to something deeper. In apologetics—the practice of defending and explaining faith—we use reason, history, and even science to show why belief matters. But apologetics is not about forcing others to believe; it is about providing reasons for hope, offering clarity, and building bridges. That’s exactly what I think is needed here: not more division, but thoughtful, faith-guided reconciliation which my sisters refuse to do.
Just my two cents, as someone who knows you, knows the family, and remembers what was most important to our parents.
Ray Benedetto
2025-08-30 21:37:09 to Ray Benedetto - Delivered
Look what I found the day after I opened your envelope in my father‘s desk drawer that I kept since I moved down to North Carolina one year after graduating physician assistant school in 1997. Besides your sweetheart parents writing a nice faithful letter to me. What do you believe the TRUE intentions of this letter to me (not to be a pessimist)? I can almost play this out exactly in my head with OUR PARENTS discussions, which may be part of the end result with our Inheritance Dispute, let alone, my belief that Tricia nor Lisa are acting in the good faith and practices of God.
Faith & Spiritual Intentions
1. Constant Prayer & Assurance
• They wrote: “I’m assuring you that our prayers are fervent and frequent that you are doing well.”
→ This shows their faith was active and personal — they wanted you to know you were literally being lifted up in prayer continually.
2. Joy in Family & Blessings
• They kept pointing to miracles of children coming into the family and the joy of gatherings.
→ Spiritually, they saw family as God’s blessing — the expansion of love through children, relationships, and unity.
3. Walking in God’s Wisdom
• Toward the end: “…grow in God’s wisdom and walk in His way.”
→ That’s almost like a parental blessing. They were reminding you that whatever the world throws at you, God’s way is the safe compass.
⸻
Practical Intentions
1. Inclusion & Unity
• They mentioned different siblings, nieces, nephews, and how much joy and love each brought.
→ This suggests they wanted you to feel connected to the broader family circle, no matter where you were physically or emotionally.
2. Affirmation of Your Role
• They called you “the youngest of the family” and noted their gratitude for you.
→ Practically, that’s encouragement — even as the youngest, you carry an important place in the family’s legacy.
3. Encouragement During Transition
• The date (1997) lines up with when you had just moved to North Carolina after PA school. They probably sensed the weight of that change and wanted to reassure you that you weren’t forgotten or left out.
⸻
How This Ties to the Inheritance Dispute
Your parents’ intentions weren’t just about money or possessions — they were about:
• keeping everyone tied together,
• reminding you of God’s way of wisdom and fairness,
• making sure love and prayer formed the foundation.
So, if today, you see behavior from siblings that feels outside of those values (self-interest, lack of transparency, ignoring fairness), you’re right to feel it clashes with what your parents hoped for.
The Mattera's: Capturing Our Adventures in Photos
Video
Check out this great video
The MATTERA Family Album: An Ongoing Journey Through Our Lives in Pictures
Frequently Asked Questions
Please reach us at paulmattera@gmail.com if you cannot find an answer to your question.
Mattera Family Disinheritance covers a variety of family related topics, including parenting tips, family traditions, and personal stories. I wanted to create / share a personal platform where our family memories and experiences could be shared with others and to learn from these experience, especially when such harm was not intented.
My intention is to foster understanding and encourage open communication between us.
My messages to my sisters came from a place of deep hurt and reflection. It was not meant to attack, but to express the pain of being excluded during a time when my family is facing serious challenges, especially between the sisters who were given millions in wealth &luxury but don't want to share with their brothers. My wife’s health, our children’s well-being, and the legacy of our father are all weighing heavily on my heart. At times, I have felt excluded during moments when family connection was most needed. This sense of narcissism (distance) with self-control in her environment and ‘economic scarcity’ with unlimited wants (greed), has weighed heavily on my heart.
I have reached multiple family members on several occasions, hoping to discuss important matters openly for family sharing but have been ignored by immediate family and shocked by surround friends and relatives. For example, I was concerned about my wife medical condition and wanted to make sure she received the support she needed. However, communication was limited; one sister behaviors strategy (tragedy) is to use the 'Silent Treatment' which is a form of passive-aggressive behavior used to punish you or gain control. Instead of communicating their feelings directly, they withdraw, leaving you to guess what's wrong and often causing you to feel guilty or anxious. She wanted an apologize letter / statement but without reconciliation and making it difficult to resolve issues or feel excluded in family decisions. I recognize that some of my messages may have come across as expressions of hurt, and I want you to know that my intention was never to attack, but to share my experience honestly.
In some of my social media posts, I voiced my perspectives about family matters, especially around topics like inheritance. My hope was to promote transparency and fairness, not to single out anyone or cause discomfort. Feedback from close friends and family members has helped me clarify my thoughts, and I appreciate those conversations, closed family members have defriend my network and post in a deliberate attempt to avoid others from reading them. The pain is made even worse by brothers-in-law(s) behavior, who found over my fathers inheritance while sons received nothing due to distance geographically. A man who "repetitively preaches but does not practice what he preaches" is a hypocrite but who am I to judge.
I wish for us to communicate more openly and compassionately. Our family was built on the values of faith, compassion, and unity, and I shared scripture as a reminder of those foundations—not to judge, but to inspire us to reconnect in a spirit of understanding. My goal is not perfection, but simply shared understanding and healing.
I am committed to keeping my heart and door open to you. I hope we can move past current divisions and honor the care and love that have always bound our family together.
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This is a very important and common question when dealing with inheritance. Here is a breakdown of how this situation can be handled, keeping in mind that specific laws can vary by location and the type of asset.
Yes, a beneficiary can typically give their inheritance to a sibling, even if it wasn't specified in the will. However, it's not as simple as just handing over the asset. The transfer is legally considered a "gift," and there are specific legal and tax implications to consider.
Here are the key steps and considerations:
1. The Sister Must First Legally Own the Inheritance
- The sister must first accept the inheritance and have the assets transferred into her name. This is a critical step.
- The legal process for this will depend on the type of asset. For a house, it involves changing the deed. For a financial account, it means the funds are transferred to an account in her name.
2. Gifting the Inheritance to the Brother
- Once the sister is the legal owner, she can "gift" the asset to her brother. This is treated as a separate transaction from the original inheritance.
- For real estate, this typically involves drawing up a new deed (such as a quitclaim deed) to transfer ownership from the sister to the brother.
- For other assets, it would be a direct transfer, such as a wire transfer for money.
3. Tax Implications
This is where things can get complicated, and it's essential to consult with a professional, such as an estate attorney or a tax advisor.
- Gift Tax: The transfer may be subject to a federal gift tax. The IRS has an annual exclusion amount (for 2025, it's $19,000). If the value of the gifted asset exceeds this amount, the person giving the gift (the sister) must file a gift tax return (Form 709).
- Unified Tax Credit: The good news is that the donor (the sister) will not likely owe any gift tax unless they have used up their lifetime gift and estate tax exemption (which is a very large number, currently well over $13 million for an individual). The gift tax return simply tracks how much of that lifetime exemption has been used.
- Inheritance vs. Gift Tax: It's important to understand the difference. The sister receiving the inheritance will not pay income tax on it. However, when she gifts it to her brother, the tax implications of that transfer are based on gift tax laws, not inheritance laws.
4. Renunciation (Disclaimer of Interest)
There is another, less common, but potentially cleaner way to handle this, which is called a "disclaimer of interest" or "renunciation."
- This is a legal document where the beneficiary (the sister) formally refuses to accept the inheritance.
- If she does this, the asset will then pass to the next person in line according to the will or, if there's no will, according to state intestacy laws.
- The key is that the person disclaiming the inheritance cannot direct where the asset goes. They simply decline it, and the law or will determines the next beneficiary. If the brother is the next-in-line beneficiary, this would be a way to transfer the asset directly to him without it being considered a gift.
- This must be done within a specific timeframe after the death (typically nine months) and before the person has accepted any benefits of the inheritance.
Given my previous conversation about my mother's (Joanna Mattera) concerns regarding the valuation and ownership of real estate, this is particularly relevant especially when the sisters did not put a market value and post pandemic pricing soared. When an inheritance involves real estate, the process of transferring a deed between siblings as a gift can have a significant impact on the property's basis and future capital gains taxes for the brother. It is highly recommended that you and your family seek legal and financial advice to ensure that any transfer is done correctly and with an understanding of all the potential tax consequences.
Happy 60th Birthday Tricia 2025
Tricia Christmas letter 2025
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